Thriving Marriages & Thriving Businesses:Part 6

Compartmentalizing Life? Aren't We a Team?

What is it?  He has his job, you have your job.  He has his responsibilities, you have yours.  He has his "jurisdictions," you have yours.  He has his side of the closet, you have yours.  He goes to work, its his deal, what does it have to do with you?  You have your work (even if it is in the home), what does it have to do with him?  Get the picture?  

Couples throughout the generations have been married and landed into categories similar to these: 

They have either Thrived, Survived, or Failed.  

They either experienced the thrill of the journey of marriage, or stayed contentedly married, or they have gotten divorced, or stayed married but experienced a stagnate or unfulfilled, maybe even depressing marriage.  

What sets "thriving marriages" apart from "surviving marriages"  or "failing"marriages?

"Building Thriving marriages & Thriving Businesses Part 4:The Comparison Trap"

The Comparison Trap

We have all been there... that time old comparison trap... and aren't we women the WORST at it? Or maybe it just has the ability to eat us up more than men?
I'm sure you've all read the books on friendship that have chapters dedicated to "comparing" yourself to other women and how dreadfully dangerous that can be.
I know I have personally struggled with this one since I was a young girl in elementary school. I would sit in my desk hearing the "whanwhanwhan" Charlie Brown noise the teacher would make... and my mind would be off in the distance... doing that "inner talking" even in pre-k and kindergarten... that inner talking would begin and my confidence would diminish. As a young growing lady... in Jr.high... that inner talking sounded like this... "is what I am wearing cute?"..."I want to be friends with her, but I don't think she would ever talk to me." You see it starts very young and surfacy; and then it grows into a beast, unless you tame it.

Building Thriving Marriages & Thriving Businesses Part 3

Hospitality

One of the most obvious ways to be involved in your husband's business is through Hospitality. This message is for women, all women who are married, regardless of their husband's career choice. There is always some way we can reach out, if our husbands can get into the thought of "reaching out" to those God puts in their path on a daily basis. However, I must say that in our personal experience it has been easier to practice hospitality with NorPac since we get to attempt to create the culture. I know that certain professions may pose "significant obstacles" with this idea; however, my challenge would be to encourage each of us to look at the impact we are or are not having in our work place or husband's work place. I believe that if your husband is following God's calling on his life in regards to "what career path" he has chosen, then as a TEAM it is our responsibility to be purposeful on a daily basis to reach out in the name of Christ.
Our culture and world is a "busy" society that has too many activities scheduled and too many more important things to do. The majority of the culture, lives a life consumed by "doing" things that take them away from home so often they couldn't possibly have the time to have people over for dinner. We live in a self- indulged culture that doesn't take the "time" to bless others by having them to their homes. As a Christian, I believe that we are placed where we are for a reason. My husband is placed where he is for a reason. I highly doubt that from God's great omnipotent, omniscient perspective he thinks its "just" to make money. God has a bigger more eternal life plan! I would like to challenge you to ask yourself the question??? How are you playing your role in making impact in the lives of those God has naturally placed in your life, through your work or your husbands work??? Are you keeping your life Compartmentalized??? Balanced? More on this concept later!

Building A Thriving Marriage & A Thriving Business Part 2

Dispelling Yet Another Lie

Lie#2: People who have successful businesses must have sacrificed their marriage & family life or compromised something, somewhere

Truth: Some may have. Some will and some do, and they will struggle in their personal life because of their decisions and actions (in the Bible its called sowing & reaping). However, that doesn't have to be you. I don't believe God would ever ask you to sacrifice your marriage or family for a business.

Building A Thriving Marriage & A Thriving Business Part 1

Dispelling the Myth

Today I want to dispel the first of a few myths that I believe hurt businesses and marriages.

Lie #1: You can't have it all- A Thriving Marriage & A Thriving Business
Truth: A thriving marriage can help create a thriving business! No, a thriving business doesn't create a thriving marriage.
The obvious tip here is to be focused on creating a strong foundation for your marriage from the beginning. Create a Vision and Mission for you and your spouse to have as your driving force. The thing you look back to that keeps you moving forward together. For Isaac and I, it was our Faith in Christ and belief that He had created us for a purpose and put us together for a purpose. We don't personally believe we were created to just live here and indulge our own selfish desires (although we do struggle with selfishness like everyone else). Rather, we believe we were put here on earth for a reason and we try to stay purposefully productive towards fulfilling the tasks and visions the Lord lays on our hearts.

For years, I have had a heart for young women who are married and starting a business with there husbands. My desire is to see their marriages thriving, not surviving. To see them as a couple find their "place" in this world where they are feeling confidant they are giving their highest contribution to the world.

Why would anyone settle for a "surviving" marriage? Statistically, if over 50% of marriages end in divorce ... how many of those 50% left are really in love? Choosing to Love? Enjoying being married? 50 years down the road how many of those 50 % that are still married... have thriving marriages... not just surviving... not just "stayed together because we know divorce is wrong” or "for the kids" or dare I say it..." divorce is unbiblical." While those are good reasons to not get a divorce shouldn't we have a higher standard? I have a higher standard for my marriage. I want a thriving marriage in 50 years. One that is still on purpose and building something significant together. Yes, one of our purposes is to raise our children in a strong Christ centered home, but after the kids are grown, what next? I know... I can't wait! I know there are so many things Isaac and I feel "called" to do... ways to serve in this world...giving our greatest contribution possible with what we have been given. My prayer is that you have that standard as well!
Dream! Take Action! Having a marriage on Purpose doesn't just happen, it takes making a choice and staying committed to working at it. So build a strong foundation with a conviction for your future together. Build Your Marriage on a Solid Foundation.

Thriving Marriage & Thriving Businesses Series

I am excited to start this series which I am calling"Building Thriving Marriages & Thriving Businesses"
As many of you know, my husband has worked for Cutco for 16 years. That was how we meet. I worked for the company first as a sales rep and then after training to run my own office, Isaac and I were engaged so my focus changed and I became his main Assistant Manager. Together we built our first year round District Office.
Isaac and I really enjoyed building together! I will share more of our story in the first series post.

Over the years, we have seen many businesses thrive at the expense a marriage. We have also seen many businesses close down to save a marriage. We have also seen marriages and businesses get "stuck" in a stagnate place, where there is no growth = which equals, not much happiness. Running your own business is hard work, which requires sacrifice in certain seasons. We have had this experience first hand. Nothing worth having comes easy, including a strong marriage. You have to choose to work at it!
Now, running your own business is not for everyone. I believe God is the perfect Creator/ Designer, and He has made everyone unique. We are not all "made" to be business owners. This series set is for those who are running businesses or thinking of doing it. I hope that I can share what I have experienced and observed over the years to encourage you and your business & marriage.

Come join me, starting Monday Feb 28!