Happy Mother's Day to all of You!
This morning as I got up @ 4:50 am... with a sick 19 month old and tried to comfort him in his pain of an upset stomach and such, I realized something. Well I didn't realize it until about a half hour ago. I feel the Holy Spirit challenging me even at this moment as I share my struggle with you. We as moms have a very special role in the family. Yes, we have all heard how valuable we are. FOX News just had an article out about how the average stay-at-home mom is worth about $117,000 a year. And while we are fully aware of the great responsibility and blessing that comes with being "mom." There are many unglamourous, tiring, and nerve pinching moments as well. For me, taking care of a family of kids with the stomach flu while my husband is traveling... I have had more of those tough moments than not.
So today is Mother's Day! And I have to admit I had some expectations. Of my husband, my kids, how the day would work out for "ME." My expectations have come from many things... mainly last years experiences, what other people tell me they are doing (what I wish I could be doing). But instead here is my life. I wake up earlier than the birds with my sick kid... instead of getting to sleep in. I make breakfast... instead of breakfast in bed. I feed the chickens b/c my sleepy head kids are still in bed. The list goes on and on.
I was really feeling sorry for myself.. in tears even. Oh and grumpy! I was sitting down stairs changing poopy diapers over and over again thinking of all the rotten things I could say to my family... especially my husband. This is where it gets really ugly. I was thinking of things like "Having a Nice Father's Day" and "how has your morning been... relaxing?" And then it bombed on me... "if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" I had a choice, I still do even right now. To keep frowning and snap at people because of them not "appreciating me" on "My" day. Or take on the gifts of the Spirit. Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness & Self-Control! And I would like to add in there Graciousness and Mercy.
I really got upset this morning... and maybe it is my hormones a bit too, but I need to change the attitude of my home and refuse to put expectations unfulfilled above the happiness and joy of a day spent together as a family. Especially since daddy is going out of town again tomorrow!
I am not sure if this speaks to anyone or if I am alone on this. But I am praying for God to grant me little blessings today and that I would recognize them and enjoy them even though the day didn't start out quite the way I wanted!
You know what is funny about my expectations? I never discussed them with anyone, my husband or my kids so they don't even know what they did wrong. Really it is all in my head. My insecurities of feeling unappreciated, or even disrespected at times. I can only be satisfied in those desires by truly resting in my Father in Heaven. Recognizing my sin and selfishness this morning and asking the Lord and my family to forgive me.
I feel like almost every mother's day I have ever had had been plagued by my own unfulfilled expections and rotten attitude you struggled with this morning. What is it about being given a "special day" that turns us into monsters?
ReplyDelete(I must add this in, in fairness to and recognition of my family this year:) This Mother's Day was different for me, but not because I was so godly in my attitude. My husband just did a good job of making the day nice. My expectations were admittedly moderate, as I am in the midst of morning sickness and fatigue. But kudos must go to my husband for making "my day" go smoothly.
You are definately NOT the only one. I really needed to hear that I think. We are in the process of moving to a town 3 hours away. My husband has been gone for almost 2 months only coming home on the weekends. I cannot move until I either find a job or we sell our house. We have a 13 month old and I know he can't really do anything for me but my husband chose to do nothing for mother's day...didn't even utter the words "Happy Mother's Day". When he was getting ready to leave to head back for the week I told him how I felt. I wasn't mean but I told him I didn't appreciate it and i think he felt horrible. It is so hard for me to realize how self consumed men are. I am not saying all men are but most are pretty inconsiderate i think. On the flip side though...the Lord really spoke to me through your post of how inconsiderate I was to make my husband feel bad. a/w Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
ReplyDeleteI am with you girl. That is why a few years ago, I decided to make my focus my family, and thank them for making me a mommy (I posted about it today). It has allowed me to let go of my some of my expectations (which, like you, were all in my head!. Thank you for sharing. I think rotten feelings creep up for me all throughout the year, not just on Mother's Day (sigh).
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Joy
Angie, Thanks for being so transparent. I was right there with you... even down to the guilt-inflicting missiles I wanted to lob at my husband, like the "having a happy Father's Day?" Oh, goodness! Lord, help us to decrease and you to increase!!!
ReplyDeleteI went one step further, I did let my bad attitude ruin my day. But, because God is so good and so faithful, he won't let us stay there, it is good to know when we still have these heart issues so they can be brought to light and be dealt with and we be conformed to His image. Thanks for sharing, it's nice to know I am not the only one who struggles in this are, and that our value comes from above.
ReplyDeleteMichelle D