Socialization? To School or Not to School?

I was recently inspired to blog about the whole "Socialization" controversy that tends to "attack" home schooling families.  Its always funny to me when I get asked why do we home school?  I have to laugh; because, if you have home schooled for any amount of time at all... boy... that question is opening a whole can of worms... isn't it!  It is not a simple answer, at all.  In fact, its probably one of the hardest questions my husband and I have ever made... or at least it seemed like it at the time.  Now home schooling is just our way of life.  It's part of our family culture... part of our identity if you will.  

So to start of this concise opinion on socialization here is my disclaimer... remember this is merely my opinion, based on observation, experience, research & reading... but still just my opinion.

Here's the definition of Socialization from Dictionary.com:

so·cial·i·za·tion

 /ˌsoʊʃələˈzeɪʃən/ Show Spel[soh-shuh-luh-zey-shuhn] noun

1. a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social  skills appropriate to his or her social  position.

2. the act or process of making socialistic: the socialization of industry.

 

There it is folks... clearly by definition I do not want my children to be conformed to the pattern of the "Oregon, liberal public educational system/government/western adulterous culture" but rather "transformed by the renewing of their mind. Then "they"will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will." Rom 12.  

When someone asks me:"what about Socialization?"  I say... have you seen a room full of public schooled 11 year olds?  I hope & pray my daughter doesn't "acquire her personal identity and learn the norms, values, & behavior and social skills appropriate" from that environment!  

Here is a question I like to ask people:  "Do you only have friends that are 29 or 35(whatever your age is)?  Do you only work with people your age?"  Of course not, so it is not preparing the children for the real world in regards to "socialization."  If school is "socially preparing children for the real world"  then how come seniors make fun of and ignore the freshman?  How come the 6th graders won't play with the 3rd graders?  In the real world the Montessori Method of age integration is much healthier for preparing children to work with all kinds of people of different ages and be able to adapt to work with different levels of learners as well as people.

 

Schools do indoctrinate our children and peers do influence them as well. I fully admit I am indoctrinating & influencing my children... oh yes, and by God's good graces... hopefully they will grow up to be like-minded brothers and sister in Christ. 

 

Another argument: Don't you want them to be able to have conversations with people in the real world?  And not be awkward?  

My rebuttal: The home schooled children I know are the most well adjusted, capable of having conversations with any age (not just their own given age), and the most respectful too I might add.  It is all to common even amongst private schooled children,  for children to disrespect authority or elders. If I might be bold enough to say... it is rare to find schooled children who can make eye contact with another adult and engage them in conversation because they honestly want to.  This has not been my experience in the home school community.  To end this rebuttal... the only thing odd about my children is that they can have a conversation with anyone of any age.  Since I know I am not the only who notices that 12 year olds have difficulty even "caring" to talk to their friends moms... I have a opposing question to ask... is "not being awkward" mean they should have a bad attitude?  Or that if they can play with a 5 year old there must be something wrong with them?  You see all these things can be accomplished by home schooling families as well.  You have to teach and train your children not to have selfishness and disrespect bound up in their hearts... over and over again... you have to confront not so easy issues... over and over again.  Not all home schooling families do either.  But this is why socialization by a school environment doesn't work for our family!  :)

Another argument I hear about socialization is well don't you want your kids to fit in the world?

My Clear answer: Ummm... NO!  I do not want my children to be like everyone else.  I am not impressed by the fruit I am seeing in the Jr. highs or the high school for that matter.  I pray they don't turn out like the rest of the world.  For crying out loud, we are Christians... aren't we supposed to "look" different.  

Socialization - who they spend their time with and conform to- is a form of education- often called "peer education."  I am socializing my children to one another, our family and other like-minded people who live with integrity and conviction... I sure hope they pick up some of that "indoctrination."  It's part of the point.  Socialization is not a problem, we got it "under control, " with plenty of the right kind!  :)