Learning to Recieve

Giving is one of my Love Languages. I love to give gifts, to treat friends to tea now and then. If I read a book I really like I will buy a few and give them to people I think would benefit from it or enjoy it. I really feel called by God to serve in church, minister to others in their time of need; such as taking a meal to a friend who has just had a baby.

Until the past couple years my husband and I had lived a life without the real need for other people to help. We were the type of people who would pay movers instead of asking friends to help us move. Without knowing it, I think I believed the lie that if you are capable of doing it on your own... then you should. I always compared my situation to other peoples and ultimately thought... "My situation is so much less serious than their's... I should just deal with it on my own." God had a different lesson to teach me.

Scripture says in Galations 6:2 "Carry each other's burden, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Until this point in my life I got participate in the fulfillment of the law of Christ by serving, physically helping to carry each others burdens. In May of 2006 my dad was diagnosed with Endocarditus, a dental infection that nearly killed a few times over the period of 3-4 months. Meanwhile I was in my third trimester of pregnancy and had three other little ones at home to take care of. Spending the night at the hospital during Emergency surgeries and ICU days was taxing and stressful to say the least. Then there was the emotional roller coaster of not knowing if he would make one day or not. There were the seemingly endless hours spent at the hospital so my mom could work. Doing "shifts."

At first my husband was taking time off work of course to stay at home with the kids. Then there were times when we were both at the hospital and when he had to work. Where were the kids going to go; who would stay with them. This is where the church began to be God's hands and feet in a very practical way. Friends took My older 3 kids... overnight even. They brought meals to feed my kids while babysitters watched the kids. The prayers of brothers and sisters in the Lord were not just an encouragement to us, but a hope as we watched God answer our prayers and theirs immediately. You can't go through an experience like this and watch God heal someone in front of your eyes and hear the voice of the Lord so clearly without having your faith depended. And that is what this has done for me.

Now I am four 18 weeks pregnant with our fifth baby. We are so blessed with the four we have and honored that God would entrust us with another little one to love and raise. As we were remodeling our bathroom this fall, I began the typical routine of morning sickness, but this time it took it's tole on my body and became so violent it threw my back out. I was diagnosed with a herniated bulging disc December 20, right before Christmas. I was told by my chiropractors not to bend or lift anything over 5 lbs... which is impossible with a 16 month old, 3 year potty training, 4 yr old and 7 year old all being home schooled. Our life changed drastically!

My husband didn't work much for about 3 weeks except in between diaper changes, housecleaning, laundry and you know the whole routine of homemaking. He is amazing! I am so thankful that he can take time from work when he needs to. Soon the time came though when we needed help around the house. My health situation demanded I have someone capable of taking care of Drew our little guy. Being I was still vomiting 10-14 times a day I wasn't much help even if I could bend, which I couldn't. The past 2 months I have been so humbled by my inability to give back to anyone who helps me. I often struggle with feeling like I need to pay them. I have been learning how hard it is to receive the gift of helping hands in a time of need. Friends from church along with people I have never meet have brought us meals, prayed for us, come over to play with the kids and clean the house.

I can't list all the simple things people have done for us. I am overwhelmed and humbled! It is a difficult place to be in need for such a long period of time. What I have learned though is that we all need each other. And that it is God's calling on His people to help those in need... I have experienced helping God's people fulfill His law just in a different way. My health and pregnancy has allowed people to experience the blessing of giving.

Ultimately I believe that as circumstances in life challenge us in different ways we are all faced with a choice. The choice is to allow God to use us to bless others and strengthen our faith, to stay positive and seek Him, being a light to those who don't know Jesus. To allow our struggles to be used by God. The other option is to fail the test, allow the situation or circumstance to overwhelm us. To give up or to stop believing in the power of God and His Word to help us in our time of need. Either to heal us, provide for us, or emotionally help us get through the situation.

I feel in the past 2 years I have been physically and emotionally challenged more than ever before. I would not trade these challenges for anything though because I have also experienced the most growth spiritually. Our God is an Amazing God! He Reigns from Heaven above, with Wisdom, Power, and Love! Our God is an Amazing God!