At Austin's party last week, talking to a friend I mentioned how "stressful" the day had been trying to get ready for that night.
Isaac had been gone all week traveling all over Oregon and Washington (it was his second week in a row)... and I was pretty overwhelmed.
When I mentioned this reality to my fairly new friend... her response was... "it is comforting to know other mom's struggle with this as well."
It brought up the conversation that when we as moms get busy doing "our thing" and we don't get out much, but then we bop around blogosphere checking out other mommies blogs... it can get discouraging. Discouraging in the sense that everyone else looks like they have it all together... because lets face it... how many people walk around with their camera ready to take pictures of their tantruming children (like I did in a previous post last year) or have a video camera taping them "losing it" because lets face it all mommies need time outs now and again. Not many! What we take the time to blog can leave the impression that we have it all together.
While we know in our heads that simply can't be true... we can be tempted into believing we are the only ones that have struggles or "bad days." I am pretty sure everyone would admit they aren't perfect and would never want to portrait that falsity. However the reality remains that unless we blog about our flaws, no one know they are there or what they are. It seems almost like a "perfect world." Share only what is good and never what is hard. Those who are naturally pessimistic can get bent out of shape about people not being real. And if you aren't one of those type of people, maybe you are a very optomistic person and you really delight in others successes (if that is what we call them). The reality though is that I think everyone probably struggles with comparison. And when "reality" isn't ever portraited it is easy to start feel down on yourself and maybe even on other people.
I truly do get joy from reading my friends blogs and catching up with old friends to see what is making them tick and what God is doing in their lives. I think to really gain joy and be encouraged by another's "successes" or to be willing to be challenged by someone else's thoughts or wisdom, I really have to be doing good with God. I have to be in his word and confidant in who he made me to be in order to be happy for others. If I am not it is easy for me to become discouraged and to believe I am failing somehow.
Isn't that what satan wants... for us mommies to become discouraged and to become less effective in our primary roles of wife and mother.
So I have a confession to make...
I have a terrible time struggling with stress.
I have for as long as I can remember. I may have had seasons in my life when it was less consuming or controlling over me than others, but I am a worry wort. I am not paranoid, but I get stressed. I take everything SOOOO SERIOUSLY!
This stress has become sinful within the past few years.
I have known it was a problem for a while and have confessed it to the Lord and asked for forgiveness from my husband and my children over and over again. But that creepy little sin keeps finding its way back into my mind and out my mouth.
Why am I sharing this?
To break any cycle that my blog may somehow give the impression that I have it all together. Just like many of you I am sure... I struggle daily with many different things. If I take time to check out other blogs I sometimes compare myself or even my blog to others'. I think sometimes... why do I even blog... no one reads it. Does it really even matter? I lose the vision.
I think my biggest struggle with stress comes out in my daily tasks... because I home school, like most everyone, I feel like when I am working with the kids I am stressed out that I am not getting things done around the house and when I am cleaning I am thinking about needing to be reading to the kids. If I am outside gardening I feel like I am neglecting the inside house and visa versa. So let me just reassure you all that things are not "perfect" or even close to "perfect" at the Tolpin House. I do my best, but I struggle with feeling that isn't good enough daily. The more I am in the word, the less I struggle for sure!
Isn't God great!
The Proverbs 31 woman does many things yes, but the one verse I am focusing on these days is this:
"She is clothed with strength and dignity;
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her..."
Proverbs 31: 25-28
When stress overwhelms me I sin in the way I communicate with everyone in my household. I know that I tear them down. Everything that I work so hard to build for the Lord can be in vain when I sin in this way.
My prayer and I ask you to pray for me as well, is for the true Joy of the Lord to be my wellspring.
That I would not believe the lies of the evil one and worry that I don't have enough time.
That I would seek peace and find it, live in the Joy of the Lord and express it.
My prayer is that my children see a mommy who, when she is tired, is filled up by the Lord.
That they would be attracted to Christ because of the change they see in me.
Lord help me to give all my stresses and burdens and worries to you fully.
Help us all Lord!
Would you partner in prayer with me to be strong in Him and grow not weary and faint. My husband is in his busiest season of the year and working diligently. I am so proud of him, but miss him and I am tired from the long days and long nights of holding down the fort.
God Bless and know that my hope as you read future posts is never to think I have it all together. I am a sinner and struggle just like everyone. I have my weaknesses and would never pretend not to. I hope that this is encouraging to at least one person and that my ramblings and confessions aren't a waste of space/ time.
Blessings!
Isaac had been gone all week traveling all over Oregon and Washington (it was his second week in a row)... and I was pretty overwhelmed.
When I mentioned this reality to my fairly new friend... her response was... "it is comforting to know other mom's struggle with this as well."
It brought up the conversation that when we as moms get busy doing "our thing" and we don't get out much, but then we bop around blogosphere checking out other mommies blogs... it can get discouraging. Discouraging in the sense that everyone else looks like they have it all together... because lets face it... how many people walk around with their camera ready to take pictures of their tantruming children (like I did in a previous post last year) or have a video camera taping them "losing it" because lets face it all mommies need time outs now and again. Not many! What we take the time to blog can leave the impression that we have it all together.
While we know in our heads that simply can't be true... we can be tempted into believing we are the only ones that have struggles or "bad days." I am pretty sure everyone would admit they aren't perfect and would never want to portrait that falsity. However the reality remains that unless we blog about our flaws, no one know they are there or what they are. It seems almost like a "perfect world." Share only what is good and never what is hard. Those who are naturally pessimistic can get bent out of shape about people not being real. And if you aren't one of those type of people, maybe you are a very optomistic person and you really delight in others successes (if that is what we call them). The reality though is that I think everyone probably struggles with comparison. And when "reality" isn't ever portraited it is easy to start feel down on yourself and maybe even on other people.
I truly do get joy from reading my friends blogs and catching up with old friends to see what is making them tick and what God is doing in their lives. I think to really gain joy and be encouraged by another's "successes" or to be willing to be challenged by someone else's thoughts or wisdom, I really have to be doing good with God. I have to be in his word and confidant in who he made me to be in order to be happy for others. If I am not it is easy for me to become discouraged and to believe I am failing somehow.
Isn't that what satan wants... for us mommies to become discouraged and to become less effective in our primary roles of wife and mother.
So I have a confession to make...
I have a terrible time struggling with stress.
I have for as long as I can remember. I may have had seasons in my life when it was less consuming or controlling over me than others, but I am a worry wort. I am not paranoid, but I get stressed. I take everything SOOOO SERIOUSLY!
This stress has become sinful within the past few years.
I have known it was a problem for a while and have confessed it to the Lord and asked for forgiveness from my husband and my children over and over again. But that creepy little sin keeps finding its way back into my mind and out my mouth.
Why am I sharing this?
To break any cycle that my blog may somehow give the impression that I have it all together. Just like many of you I am sure... I struggle daily with many different things. If I take time to check out other blogs I sometimes compare myself or even my blog to others'. I think sometimes... why do I even blog... no one reads it. Does it really even matter? I lose the vision.
I think my biggest struggle with stress comes out in my daily tasks... because I home school, like most everyone, I feel like when I am working with the kids I am stressed out that I am not getting things done around the house and when I am cleaning I am thinking about needing to be reading to the kids. If I am outside gardening I feel like I am neglecting the inside house and visa versa. So let me just reassure you all that things are not "perfect" or even close to "perfect" at the Tolpin House. I do my best, but I struggle with feeling that isn't good enough daily. The more I am in the word, the less I struggle for sure!
Isn't God great!
The Proverbs 31 woman does many things yes, but the one verse I am focusing on these days is this:
"She is clothed with strength and dignity;
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her..."
Proverbs 31: 25-28
When stress overwhelms me I sin in the way I communicate with everyone in my household. I know that I tear them down. Everything that I work so hard to build for the Lord can be in vain when I sin in this way.
My prayer and I ask you to pray for me as well, is for the true Joy of the Lord to be my wellspring.
That I would not believe the lies of the evil one and worry that I don't have enough time.
That I would seek peace and find it, live in the Joy of the Lord and express it.
My prayer is that my children see a mommy who, when she is tired, is filled up by the Lord.
That they would be attracted to Christ because of the change they see in me.
Lord help me to give all my stresses and burdens and worries to you fully.
Help us all Lord!
Would you partner in prayer with me to be strong in Him and grow not weary and faint. My husband is in his busiest season of the year and working diligently. I am so proud of him, but miss him and I am tired from the long days and long nights of holding down the fort.
God Bless and know that my hope as you read future posts is never to think I have it all together. I am a sinner and struggle just like everyone. I have my weaknesses and would never pretend not to. I hope that this is encouraging to at least one person and that my ramblings and confessions aren't a waste of space/ time.
Blessings!
I check your blog because you always have very interesting posts! And I love keeping up with what your family is doing... I love the vinyard! What a fun family dream/project to work on.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your thoughts on this topic... It is truly interesting to think about.
Blogging is different for everybody... some use it as a Ministry... others as a Diary... others as a Platform to discuss issues... I use it as a kind of therapy... a way to be personally creative... thoughtful... and, as a way to diary/scrapbook our life for our family and friends who happen to want to keep up with us. By all means, I am not perfect :) But my blog reflects my personal journey and the highlights of joy along the way...
I think we all struggle ... with that nasty worry sin... some more than others... Remember the story of Peter walking on the water? (Matthew 14:29)... Jesus asks Peter to come out on the water...He obeys...gets out on the water and walks!... but the wind was frightening... and he begins to fear... and he begins to sink and cries out to Jesus to save him... Jesus reaches out and takes his hand... "You of little faith, he said, "why do you doubt?"...
I know that I am tempted to just do it all... in my own strength... learning to let God be God and trust in Him for everything is truly an act of obedience... How often do I do the same as Peter ...when my eyes are on Jesus I am in a perfect place, but when my eyes look around me at all that is there to "worry" about... I begin to sink back to my old sinful ways. The Holy Spirit is indeed working through us and refining us. One day at a time... but it is painful sometimes... and we all need a bit of encouragement from each other.
I truly understand how it feels to "hold down the fort". My husband also travels a ton! With all your little ones... I am sure it is a challenge to do it all and do it well! Remember, you don't have to do it all... you are only one person... and God knows what you need and what your children need and He will provide.
Love you friend... you are a blessing!
Angie, ever since I first heard you speak with Rakel at GS I've been warmed by your honesty, openess and transparency. The world needs to know that we're just regular people who 'blow-it' too, not goody-two shoes Christians. I appreciate your heart and the way you share. You are an encouragement!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it amazing how our worrying/stressing can destroy in seconds what we've been working towards all day? I've found I can lose my temper at the drop of a hat when I've been trying all day to teach my kids self-control. argh. Thank goodness for God's abundant grace and mercy. Ephesians 2:8-9, it is by grace we have been saved through faith, and NOT OF OURSELVES (thank goodness, cause I could never attain it) it is the GIFT of God.
Ang,
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I love you and I love this post. You'll remember I wrote on the topic of "looking like we have it all together" a while back. And, I agree that it is easy to look at others and get discouraged.
I think all of us mommies struggle in the area of stress and getting frustrated. I am certainly no exception. I think what has begun to help for me, is letting go of my expectations of myself and listening to what God has for me each day. That has cut down (not eliminated!) my stress and yes, my angry outbursts. Simply knowing that I can't and won't get it all done, and allowing myself to be OK with that has helped immensely.
I CAN'T WAIT to see you!!
Blessings,
Joy
You are not the only one feeling this! Stress can be a good thing or a bad thing. I have learned to try and make it into a possitive thing. You're right in that we can't be in two places at one time and it is stressful when we want to have the house always in order. But reality is, that is next to impossible!
ReplyDeleteThe quote you chose to include in this post is one that I've referred to as a reminder of how God wants us to live our lives. But just know too that we are humans, humans with flaws (and sin), and that is why God sent His only son to die for our sin - to wash them away.
Thank God for that! In all of our struggles as stay at home moms, just know this:
When no one is watching, when no one sees the good we do, the sacrafices we make, and the everyday battles we overcome, GOD SEES US. He sees the good in us when no ones else (even ourselves) does.
And He loves us the same. As mothers and women of God, we cannot be too hard on ourselves - because, just like you said, that's what the man below wants...
I am praying for you and your family for strength, and to grow everyday a little more wisdom, and knowledge, and love!
God Bless...